“Forgive the past. It is over. Learn from it and let go. People are constantly changing and growing. Do not cling to a limited, disconnected, negative image of a person in the past. See that person now. Your relationship is always alive and changing.” ― Brian L. Weiss, Messages from the Masters: Tapping Into the Power of Love
Spending time reading at the weekend, I have come to regard as a pleasure.
Getting up early and sitting with a book; reading on my kindle or on-line; I get lost in the words; the story; the journey. I have always read, ever since I can remember. I was known as the “bookworm” in my family. I can recall reading under the bed covers as a very young child; using a very old fashioned rectangular blue torch to shine the light onto the printed page as I devoured the story; gripped by the plot and the characters. Then would come the inevitable “Put that light out and go to sleep” from my mother.
Anyway, back to now. An article in a newspaper has prompted me to reflect on change why it is constant. Whilst reading the article “The secret of happiness? Live life in the slow lane”, I was struck by one small section:
“Things I liked when I was young but now couldn’t care less about: aeroplane journeys, all-you-can-eat buffets, horror movies, staying up all night. Things I enjoy now I am older: Mozart, brown rice, meditation, spending time alone, regular exercise. We change without realising it. We are in the midst of change now.”
I stopped what I was reading and realised that life has been a constant change. The words in bold are key to the next series of thoughts I had.
When I was young, I liked: Horror movies.Staying up late or even all night. Reading fiction and especially horror and fantasy. Getting out on my bike. Being with my mates down the park.
In my middle years, I liked: Science programmes. Reading about World War II. Going to the gym. Chasing girls. Listening to 1980’s pop music.
Now, I like: Listening to podcasts. Listening to classical music and modern classical composers like Ludovico Einaudi. Meditation. And I have rediscovered a need for exercise to try to be healthy.
Throughout all of my life, I have lived a life of constant change. Change that has been almost unnoticed. It was only by pausing and reflecting this morning, that I recognised, even for those things that we feel are constant, like our taste in music, or reading or films; change happens. So imagine, if you will, those major changes in your life? Relationships. Work. home. Places you have lived. Those are not changes. They are more like transformations.
For instance, we transform ourselves for others when we start relationships. I am reading (yes, I know, I’m repeating myself) a fascinating book by Alain de Botton on The Course of Love. You may disagree but think for a moment about a recent or even current relationship you are in. I can guarantee that you are not the same person who started that relationship. You have changed, and quite possibly, you will notice that the other person has changed as well. If you write down what attracted you to the person when you first met them and compare it to your feels now, there will be a difference.
We transform ourselves when we start a new job. Certainly, when you move companies. The company culture will be different. The people’s work practices will be different to what you might have experienced in a previous employer. Even if you are self-employed, you may find that you approach a new client in a different way to an old client.
Finally, homes. It is a given than when we move into a new home; whether rented or owned; we want to change it. Put our mark on it. Paint it. Decorate it. Furnish it with our stuff. Even when you are our looking at potential new places to live, I know you will make comments like “If we change that, or move that….” as part of the decision process.
So change is a constant. So is transformations. Life is a journey that we all go on. As it is Saturday, I will return to my reading. Whatever you are doing this day. Enjoy and I hope you have a pleasant weekend.
The article, I read is here, if you are interested.
I leave you with the following quote.
“Change is a funny thing. We never are quite sure what we are becoming or even why. Then one day we look at ourselves and wonder who we are and how we got that way. Only one thing about change remains constant…it is always painful”